Almost every sunset

It is truly a blessing to be able to sit and watch ninety percent of the sunrises and sunsets which bookmark my days. To sit and breath in these moments, preferably with my feet in dirt, is a practice that helps hold me together and gives me a chance to reflect on my mindset and days. 

I’ve slowly begun to realize however that aside from these two slices of time, I’m basically full sprint through my days. My list is as long as my arm and I fill my days with chores maintaining my home, my body, my work and carving out a social life in a new place. I adore my victories and often have my soul recharged by the positive aspects of my day. Gardening with my out of school crew, cooking for friends, learning language, managing a typhoid outbreak, my increasing responsibilities at the national level, sitting and giving my time to a loved one, all these things fill my soul and make me feel a little like the work I do matters, which is everything I could ever ask for. But right now, in this moment, I am looking for a place to lay quietly without an objective or agenda, a still point in this turning world. Perhaps the deck of a ship or a stretch of forest floor, maybe with sand in my shoes and someone there to tell me it’s all going to work out, who knows how this story will unfold. I have found a lot of peace inside in the past two weeks with the path that got me here but when I go back and read all the unpublished drafts of blog posts I still see an undercurrent of protective anger which I am working on understanding. I am happy here, please do not misinterpret this message, but we all crave the stillness of comfort, of love, of peace. Taking time to exist outside of the current of survival and seeking solace within ourselves. 

So I have a small assignment to those of you who do follow these ramblings, please watch the next sunset or sunrise you have time for, and when the colors are at their peak and just beginning to dwindle into the night or day, note the feeling your soul has. Feel the speed your heart is moving, the depth of the breaths you are taking, and reflect on what else in your life puts you in that place, in that mindset. Because these are the moments where we focus our ability to give and receive love in this chaos we call life.

Love

Fitz

Ps: Big shout out to Rego for the first successful care package (we are both astounded it made it here) it would seem the shipping lanes are open.