Blended
This one is going to be a blend, a bit from the now, a bit from the then, but all on this page. I glanced around the table at my scattered notes, looking for commonalities or little tidbits of inspiration. The most unifying thing I can see between my interview notes, musings, lists, and letters is something I don’t feel I present as well as I could to the world. Excitement. Pure and simple joy for what is around the corner, my favorite quote from Gayle (never grandma, always Gayle) is “just around the corner, something exciting is happening.” The ability to look through your current situation with wonder is very effectively beat out of us by the world, but it doesn’t have to be. It’s cool to be excited, apathy is the lazy man’s facade covering his insecurities in my opinion. I view it the same way I view Nihilism, if nothing truly matters, why treat that like a bad thing? I do find myself caught up in that self indulgence, channeling my inner Eeyore and reveling in the warm bath of self pity and depression, but it never feels authentic. I write angry bitchy email responses but can never bring myself to press send, because it’s not who I am, or who I want to be. I want to put as much good into this world as I can manage given my circumstances, sometimes for the selfish reason of that’s what feels best, and that’s okay too. So enjoy a few more of my scribblings and silly little poems, I hope to anyone reading this you are finding love in your life, joy in your days, and peace in your heart.
-Fitz
We are all looking for Gods to plug into the unknown holes in our minds
Stop up the leaks of uncertainty with convenient answers
Like spiritual flex tape
Stretchy and vague enough to cover all gaps
What if the important part is the unknown, what if we are blocking out wisdom with our knowledge
Do the answers cheapen the questions?
Scratching a bug bite that will turn into an ugly festering wound the more we pick at it
Maybe not every question has an answer
Maybe that’s a good thing
Though I fear it will severely impact the snake oil markets, perhaps all those shamans and priest can pivot to helping people
though I’m certain for many that will feel like an unnatural transition.
It doesn’t have to be so hard
We are bombarded with self help books- tiktoks of how to make your life better, break your habits, grind, hustle, strive
Judging ourselves for how we eat, move, dream
Thinking if we could just find the system, the mentor, the goal
we will find our ultimate self
our fully actualized existance of sucess and fufillment
The most joyful boy I have ever met slept under a tree
When we fully engage with our lives we allow our bodies to fully engage with the world
The things we judge ourselves on are merely distractions
The simple is the easiest to focus
It is space itself incarnate
Be in the now-now
