Reboot

It’s been a minute, I stepped away from this website as I focused on finding a landing place in the US and in my mind. Looking for that solid foundation to build, to grow, to be able to do as I pleased. My own idiocy is breathtaking often.

There is no solid ground y’all, we cling to these labels and achievements without zooming out and seeing the hurtling rock of monkeys holding ribbons that we are. The thing that truly matters is the current moment. The person in front of you holding out their hand, the smile on a loved ones face, the silence that comes with stillness.

So I sat in the fancy office debating if I’d made it, happily working on my plans like a good little member of this society recently reintegrated from the wild wild world thorns still lodged in the soles of my boots. It wasn’t until I watched this current little journey explode in it’s own unique and spectacular way that I finally turned the lens inward. There was no panic, no crippling fear of the future, no pain of uncertainty, my soul instead gave a little chuckle as it greeted it’s friend reality once more. Thích Nhất Hạnh’s famous pebble meditation reminds us that you can never see a true reflection in disturbed water. Processing of things happens in it’s own time and the grief of all the people I was planning to help definitely has it’s own special place in my heart, but the joy that comes from being fully in the moments, good and bad, is something I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’m not even quite sure how I got here. There is truly no destination, I am trying as hard as I can to release my preoccupation with a future I have no way of discerning.

I chose to believe that the universe is conspiring for us all, we just spend most of our time fighting it. Distractions are a dime a dozen and with the ability to satiate our desires instantaneously I fear the slow burn of life may be becoming too mundane for our brains flooded with flashing lights and commercialized dopamine. Fear of the future and anxiety of the past have such a prevalent role in our day to day existence that we forget they do nothing except guarantee we will miss the beauty in this moment right here, because this is our one opportunity to experience it. See the person, not the labels they carry, feel the moment, not the ramifications of it’s particular details. This is our solid ground and if you glance down, you will see your feet firmly planted in this moment we cannot escape, how beautiful. So welcome back dear friends to my little corner of the binary landscape. Please reach out and let me know how you are doing, how your path is feeling underfoot, and if we have the opportunity, sit for a moment together and appreciate the simplicity of now.

Love,

Fitz