Many scribbled pages
I think I will forever be scribbling on scraps of paper, jotting down notes, sometimes just for the joy of feeling a pen glide across a page. Writing for me is a land free of pressure or obligation. I hope these notes that I share present themselves not as polished or finished but as drafts of my thoughts and approach to life. A continual meditation on reality and our place in it. I try to release them as soon as the ink dries, let them be that moment in time. A manifestation of a specific blend of hormones, experiences, and perspective that can never be again. So here are a few, they are random scraps I found on my bedside table. Not all of them but a few I want to share. I’ve returned to this page to write a little more, share a little, though I do find myself repeating my thoughts and themes. If anyone has a topic they’ve been meditating on, or something they’ve been wrestling with, I’d love to hear about it. My door is always open for discussion and pondering. Call me, text me, email, I don’t care the format though my response time may vary between them. As always, I hope you are absolutely in love with your life, I hope you are being kind and gentle to yourself, and may the wind be ever at your back.
Love,
Fitz
There is no end to this ride. We are merely atoms jumping around states of excitement, living out patterns and paths older than time and absolutely brand new. Infinity is our reality with no possible way of knowing where we are at the same time as knowing where we are going. We focus so heavily on destinations that are not final, at finishing stories with no end, and achieving goals with no limit. The only reality is the here and now while our curse of higher thought constantly pulls us into tomorrow and yesterday. Seemingly blind to the beauty of the sunsets in our eyes and magic in the breath. Do not however, blame yourself with your preoccupation with times non-existent, it is human natures caused by society, by our survival instincts run amuck. Be grateful for your anxieties because they are merely trying to keep you safe. It is however important to remembered, nobody ever achieved anything with safety. It takes a bold courage to change the world, just as it take courage to be in the now. To trust the path, commit to the process, and not let our plans for the future get in the way of who we are becoming. Drink deeply form the glass to your lips, but do not fear when it runs dry, there’s always more.
I spent a year crying in the middle of a drought
Watching sunsets and asking myself who I am
Contemplating the questions I haven’t even finished asking yet
My skin burning under the unrelenting sun in penance for a young lifetime of karmic debt
Paying tolls for roads I’ll never walk down
Drawing maps to places I’m never going to go
Learning to love the person I am
Learning to share the compassion that flows so easily for others to my reflection
Caring less about everything while concerning myself with everything
Listen Ian, the birds are singing
Where it is easy to be hardened - I will be gentle
Where it is easy to be angry - I will be compassionate
Where it is easy to talk - I will listen
Where it is easy to stop - I will keep going
Where it is easy to give into fear - I will chose hopes
These barriers, obstacles, and downright shitty days are guaranteed
Bad things happen to everyone, they are our opportunities to be stronger than our impulses, smarter than our false narratives,
and learn the support we need for the days we can lift up others.
Don’t let the future get in the way of your life.
